I am feeling so burned out right now. I've lost my enthusiasm and energy with Sofia's nutrition. I don't think very many people understand how stressful it is to feed an incredibly underweight picky child who doesn't like to eat. Meals are a time of great foreboding, tension, and anxiety. I feel like a horrible mom. My child isn't getting enough to eat to gain weight. I've tried so many things; excited each time that I may have found the cure only to be met with resistance and disappointment. I have tried tricking, bargaining, and even pleading with Sofia. Nothing works. Sure she eats, some. I don't think she's malnourished and according to blood work she doesn't have any major nutritional deficiencies. I'm just so tired and today I feel void of patience. I yelled at Sofia at the end of lunch and made her cry and then broke down myself. I'm ashamed.
I shouldn't be complaining. I am so incredibly blessed in most other areas of my life, but at times this just becomes all-consuming. This is one of those times.
The sun is always bright and warm on the other side of the clouds. I just hope the clouds part soon. I am ready for spring!
5 comments:
Oh dang--I should have forced you guys to stay for lunch today. BTW--of anyone--you are such a great mom. You care and would do anything for that girl when it comes to food--she's just HARD. It's not you. And every mother out there has lost their patience with their kid. Don't be ashamed.
Oh Jenny. It is hard to understand the frustration, but believe me frustration is there for everyone! I loose it a lot more than I should. I know you are a great mother and you are awesome at it! As Preston tells me each day, Heavenly Father only gives us the children he knows we can take good care of. You were chosen for Sofia even though it is hard because He knows you can do it and do it well! Just keep trying.
We've all lost our patience and snapped at our kids and made them cry. It's part of being a mom.
Just a thought: has this become a head butting issue for her? Is she just digging in her heels because it's such a big deal to you? Kids this age are notorious at power struggles. They'll fight you for the sake of fighting you.
Let her eat what she wants to eat. Don't fight her on it. No coaxing, pleading, threatening, bribing. Try letting it go. My kids have always been in the 2nd percentile for weight. I had to let go a long time ago. I would have gone crazy by now.
Good luck. And be nice to yourself! You're Sofia's mommy! ;o)
It's okay to feel ashamed to the point where we feel bad enough not to do something again, but don't let it get you down. NO MOTHER IS PERFECT, as much as we would probably all like to be! I'm sure you're doing your best. Sometimes, I think kids can live on air. Hang in there. We missed you the other day at the shower! We need to play sometime soon!
We have a very skinny, picky boy, too. Our doctor said let them eat what they will eat and always leave some out for grazing...and then put vitamins in their milk. It seems to be working at our house. Oh, and he still only eats about five things - none of them good for him.
You're a good mom. Promise.
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