Yesterday would have marked 20 weeks in my pregnancy. For some reason this week has been much harder then last. I don't think the word "miscarriage" fully gives justice to what we've been through. Technically I was 14 weeks when it happened, but we wouldn't find out for another 4 weeks. So mentally and emotionally I was 18 weeks pregnant, just two weeks shy of the half way point.
I feel like I've lost a child. A son that I will never hold, never kiss, never rock to sleep, and never sing lullabies to. I feel like a part of me is missing, a part of our family. I miss him so much.
Josef and I have both felt that this little boy of ours will be waiting for us in heaven. This trial has brought new meaning and significance to God's Plan of Salvation. I am so thankful to know that there is life after death and there is a plan for even the smallest of God's children.
I look forward to the day when I will meet my little boy and our family will be complete.
4 comments:
I really don't have any words that I feel would really mean much. It is so sad and I don't know why Heavenly Father picks us for the trials we have but I guess it is only makes us turn to Him more and gain an even better testimony of the things we knew. It will be a happy day when all four of you can be together again. We love you!
Words can't truly express my thoughts and how my heart aches for you and your family's trial. Know how much we love you. And what a blessing to know that someday that little boy will welcome you in his arms and call you "Mommy".
I'm not sure what to say other than I'm crying with you. Know that you are loved and others feel your pain.
You are not alone.
We lost our baby, Masyn, during pregnancy, and yes---you've lost a child.
Your heart falls in love with this child. Your mind has hopes & plans & dreams for this child. Your body does an anatomical dance to make room for this child.
And for the pregnancy to not end with a baby to take home...well, it's just heartbreaking.
I'm so very sorry for you & your family & the heartbreak...
...but, let your tears come, & let them water your soul. Sometimes that's the only thing that helps.
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