The Lucas Life

Blessing

2012-01-29T14:14:00.001-08:00

Life is such a blessing.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

2012-01-29T13:50:00.000-08:00

I am sitting on a plane headed for Washington DC. Alone. No kids. No husband. I have mixed feelings about this. In part I am excited for new experiences and an opportunity to learn and grow personally. Another part of me is nervous and lonely. I consider myself a relatively sheltered person. Due to limited finances I lived at home while attending college. Then when I got married at age twenty-one I went straight from my parents home to my new life with Josef. I became a mother at 23 without finishing college. My first time leaving the country was just last year. I have only lived in three areas: Utah for 18 months, California for 16 years, and Texas for 10 years. My parents have never lived more then a 45 minute drive away.

My two children and my husband are my life. They are my world. Leaving them for a few days is hard. I am embarrassed to admit that I almost cried walking out of the house. I know, I'm a baby. I told Josef a couple weeks ago that it was time for me to "put on my big girl pants". I am aware how incredibly immature that sounds. He thought this expression was funny and joked with me about it this morning before I left.

So why am I going to DC by myself? A few months ago when Mason was just a couple weeks old I entered a giveaway on the Million Moms Challenge, a non-profit organization dedicated to maternal health, and I won! The prizes were an IPad 2 (from which I am writing this blog post), a necklace from Million Moms, a donation made to the foundation in my name, and a trip to Washington DC.

The trip is not all fun and games, it has an important purpose that I am very excited to be apart of. The United Nations Foundation (who partnered with ABC news to sponser the Million Moms Challenge) will be launching a new campaign in April called Shot@Life which is dedicated to providing children around the world with the life saving vaccines they need to have a shot at a healthy, full life. As apart of the giveaway I was invited to a summit to help educate volunteers (mostly mothers) about how to build a grassroots following and spread the word about this important cause.

I struggled some what with the decision of whether to go. After a lot of thought and prayer I decided that this is an important opportunity for me, not only to gain new experiences, but to be a part of something important and exciting.

It's a little nerve racking to travel to a city that I am unfamiliar with and to be surround by people that I don't know. This is a step into the dark for me and waaaay out of my comfort zone, but like I told Josef it is time for me to put on my big girl pants!

What Really Matters

2011-12-20T10:52:00.000-08:00

I have a magnet on my fridge which has the picture of this remarkable lady and one of my favorite quotes.

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.
I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.
I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing Sister Schenk's lawn.
I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor's children.
I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and tears of a friend on my shoulder.
I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived." -Marjorie Hinckley

I keep it where I can see it and remind myself that when I meet my Father in Heaven what will matter isn't how many times a week I actually blow dry my hair or apply make-up. It won't matter whether I am crafty or can sew. He won't care if I was an expert baker, cook, singer, dancer, cake decorator, or scrapbooker. It won't matter if my house was beautifully decorated or if my closet was filled with the seasons latest fashion trends. It will not matter how many creative and inventive scenes I set up for our Elf on the Shelf. It won't matter where I lived, traveled, what I drove, or how much was in my bank account. He will not even care how my life compared to others.

What will really matter is how I lived my life? Who did I help? What did I do to love others? How did I effect change in another person's life for good? Was I really there? Did I really live? Did I do my best? Did I fashion my life, as best as I could, after the One who's birth we will celebrate and reverence this Sunday?

Sick Days

2011-11-19T20:05:00.000-08:00

We have had some lazy fun this week despite being a bunch of sickies. Our days have consisted of nail painting, playing cars, watching movies, listening to Christmas music, dancing, making cookies, straightening Sofia's hair (I like her curls better), reading books, and taking naps. It has been an enjoyable few days, but I'm ready to get out of the house again!

No Longer Mommy Daddy Baby

2011-11-10T19:18:00.000-08:00

I don't know what to rename my blog. Now that we have Mason we are no longer just a mommy, a daddy, and a baby. Any clever ideas?

Baby Shower

2011-11-10T18:54:00.000-08:00

At the beginning of August just before I went on bed rest, two close friends threw me a baby shower and they really out did themselves! I felt so loved. It was a crepe bar with all different fillings and toppings. There was also onesie making with cute fabric appliques. Another awesome friend brought her fancy camera and documented the occasion with beautiful pictures.

I'm Still Here!

2011-11-07T13:25:00.000-08:00

I've been putting off updating the blog for various reasons which I'm sure you don't care about. Unfortunately today is not the day for a lengthy post, but one is coming soon. I broke my tailbone a few days ago and have a painful migraine today so give me a day or two to feel better. Until then here is a picture to tide you over.

Mason Alexander

2011-09-19T14:47:00.000-07:00

Mason Alexander was born Wednesday September 14th at 5:50pm weighing 7 lbs 8oz and 19inches long. We are all in love with this little boy!

During a 39 week exam with my doctor we discovered that I was 5 cm dilated but not yet in active labor. My doctor offered to induce me that day because she was worried about me already being half way dilated and not making it to the hospital in time. So with that we dropped Sofia with a friend and headed to the hospital. It didn't take much pitocin to put me into labor. After my water broke I received an epidural which didn't work initially. They gave me more epidural which finally worked 45 minutes later, but left my legs 100% numb. It felt like being paralyzed. Which is not a feeling I enjoyed, but I was grateful to be out of pain. After pushing through 4-5 contractions our precious son was born.

Receiving oxygen because each contraction made Mason's heart rate plummet.

Josef took a picture of the clock at the exact moment he was born. 5:50:36pm

Sofia is so in love with her brother! She loves to help out in anyway she can and always wants to hold him, kiss him, and watch him to make sure he's ok.

Finally a family of four!

Sofia and her bunny wanted to get some sun with her baby brother.

Somebody's Excited

2011-09-09T18:44:00.001-07:00

Sofia talks constantly about her baby brother and all the things she is going to do as a big sister. She is very excited. She loves him already and will give him hugs and kisses through my belly.

Sofia is Miss Independent. She loves to get herself ready in the morning which usually means clothes are mismatched and put on backwards, but I learned to let go of that control. It is actually a big help that she can do it on her own because morning is the most painful time of day for me.

Sofia also loves to brush her hair. Sometimes she will examine herself in the mirror (a favorite pastime) and remark excitedly "Mommy! Look at my curly hair!"

Sensory Box

2011-09-09T12:57:00.000-07:00

I got the idea for this "sensory box" on the internet. Really its just a tub with rice dumped in it and various objects to pour, scoop, dig, and play. Sofia loves it and the first time I brought it out she sat and entertained herself for 1.5 hours. I need to find more independent play activities like this for Sofia. Things that entertain her for longer then 10 minutes....

Poodly Do

2011-09-09T12:44:00.000-07:00

This little girl's curly locks are starting to resemble a poodle. The longer and more unruly it gets, the more terrified I am of cutting it. Or should I say butchering it. Her hair was made for her personality. Girly, bouncy, wild, beautiful, untamed, Sofia.

Dream

2011-08-26T16:25:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a long dream about how I was in excruciating pain that I couldn't stop. I tried many different things to get rid of it, but nothing worked. Then I woke up at 4am, only to remember that the pain was reality and I could not fall back asleep because it was too much. Josef woke up to me sitting in the rocking chair crying.

The past few weeks since my last post have been like this. Varying degrees of constant pain. Some times its manageable and some times I just sit and cry. My doctor has me on partial bed rest. Which means no grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, laundry, or walking/standing for more then a couple minutes at a time. Sitting down helps with the pelvic pain and hip pain, but causes low back. Standing relieves low back pain, but causes pelvic pain. Lying down relieves the low back, but causes hip pain and amplifies the pelvic pain.

I haven't lost faith though. I thrive on prayer, and the selfless service of others has been very humbling. My induction date is officially set for September 20th in 3.5 weeks. There is light at the end of the tunnel!

Divine Inspiration

2011-08-07T20:30:00.000-07:00

Today I stayed home from church to rest. While Josef and Sofia were gone I sat down on the couch and flipped on the TV. At first I searched through the guide for something to watch and when I discovered nothing that interested me I turned to the DVR to see what was recorded. I discovered that we had several sessions of General Conference recorded that had yet to be watched. I hesitated for a moment and then chose the Saturday morning session from this past April. During the first several talks I had a hard time paying attention, but then Elder Kent F. Richards gave a talk entitled The Atonement Covers all Pain. I listened intently knowing that I was meant to hear his inspired words and it felt like he was speaking directly to me. I don't know whether my pain is going to get better or worse in the coming weeks, but I know that I will be strengthened to bare up my afflictions and will find joy along the way.

Click here to read the talk.

Pain

2011-08-06T12:57:00.000-07:00

I have been in so much pain the past several days. At first it started out as what I thought was round ligament pain, but with the use of a maternity support belt that has pretty much gone away. The pain has gravitated and as is mostly focused in my pelvis. I would say that the pain, at times is more then what I experienced after giving birth to Sofia. I have spent more time crying the past few days total then I have the past few months. It hurts anytime I am standing and especially when walking. At the worst times I feel crippled; unable to walk because it is unbearable. Sitting and resting helps a little, but I honestly can't do that for more then 15-30 minutes at a time with Sofia.

After doing some research online (yes I am one of those people who google's their symptoms), I think I may have something that effects some pregnant called SPD. I seem to fit every symptom. I won't go into detail (you can google it if you are curious), but suffice it to say it involves pelvic pain so intense that some pregnant women use crutches or a walker to get around. Thankfully it hasn't gotten to that point just yet, but I can see it getting there. Another discouraging fact is that in most cases it comes back and comes back earlier in future pregnancies. I am told that physical therapy can help and that the pain goes away almost as soon as you give birth. I just pray that the next 6.5 weeks go by quickly!

So Long....

2011-07-27T14:43:00.000-07:00

Saturday we said goodbye to our master bathroom as we once knew it. Over the course of the next two (hopefully not more) weeks we will watch it transform into something much more pleasing. To save us a large amount of money Josef, with some help from his brother, demolished about 90% of our bathroom. The only thing left standing at the end of the day was the bathtub. It was a long day and we were both bone tired when we crawled into bed.

Before. Way before. This was taken by the previous owners to list the house.

Josef worked so hard.

Demo complete

Construction began bright and early Monday morning and it has been a slightly slower process then we had hoped, but it is making progress. We are anticipating that it will be complete at the end of next week.

I'm Back

2011-07-24T12:28:00.000-07:00

I took a long hiatus from blogging. I'm sure you noticed. It was just one of those things that I kept putting off and pushing to the back of my mind because I didn't want to deal with it. June and July have been full of mostly picture-less things. The main task on my daily list has been school. In June I started a College Algebra course at the community college and it is whirlwind. I still have 2 more weeks until it is over. Being pregnant, I feel like by brain is not functioning with the same efficiency that it normally does, so studying and homework have been crucial to my success so far.

Oh yeah, I'm pregnant! Did you forget? I haven't given much blog time to this pregnancy, which is a positive thing. That means I don't have a ton to complain about. I'm about 32 weeks and so very ready to be done. The back and hip pain and insomnia are my biggest complaints, but I go to the chiropractor (bless her) 1-2 times a week and my Dr (bless her too) prescribed me Ambien to help me sleep.

I've only bought four things for this boy so far: crib bedding, socks, binkies, and a pair of shoes. What is he going to wear? Most people would probably have a year supply of clothes by now. But not me. I'm a little slow. I'm just now trying to decorate Sofia's (at age 3.5) room. I just keep telling myself that it matters more how you parent a child not how their room looks. That makes me feel better about the empty walls.

Disney World Day 4

2011-07-24T11:55:00.000-07:00

I can't look at how long its been since my last post. It's even worse that I hadn't finished blogging about Disney World. Well better late then never!

Our last day at Disney World was bitter-sweet. It was my favorite day that we spent in the parks which made it very harder to leave, but we were relieved at the end of the day to be in our own beds. Here are the highlights of the day.

Early morning arrival at the Magic Kingdom. Meeting Belle, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella. Riding the Peter Pan ride, race cars, and Buzz Lightyear. Long wait for lunch. Mickey Mouse Street Party. Sweet treats on Main Street. Sofia choosing a toy for the plane ride home. One last sad look down Main street at the Castle. Bus ride back to our resort. Yet another bus ride to the airport. Airplane home. Happy reunion with our home and beds.

I just want you to be happy!

2011-05-28T12:25:00.000-07:00

This has been one long week. I've been feeling more tired and nauseous then several months, my house is a disaster (but I've been too tired to do anything about it), and Sofia and I have had some challenges as well.

Yesterday afternoon I was determined to get something cleaned in my house, so I chose the kitchen. Sofia brought a bunch of playing cards into the kitchen to entertain herself while I worked. At first this didn't bother me because if I could get the kitchen clean then I could deal whatever small mess she made. Well after a long tiring week of butting heads with Sofia and being completely overwhelmed with my eternal list of to-dos that I had no energy to complete, I lost my patience. I asked Sofia over and over and over to pick up the cards that had taken over the kitchen floor and in true toddler fashion, she didn't listen. She then grabbed a box of cereal off of the table and added the contents to the big mess. After she sent herself to time out, I tried to compose my patience and brought her back to the kitchen to clean up her ever increasing mess.

Again she refused. I broke down. I cried to her about how tired and sick I was feeling. I blubbered that all I wanted was for her to listened to me and clean up! I buried my face in my hands and continued to cry. A short time later Sofia cheerfully proclaimed "Look Mommy I'm cleaning up! I just want you to be happy!"

I love my sweet little Sofia! Even though she challenges my patience frequently, her endless unconditional love makes every frustrating moment worth it a hundred times over.

Disney World Day 3

2011-05-21T14:31:00.000-07:00

Highlights of our 3rd day at DW:

Magic Kingdom in the morning. Meeting Mickey and Minnie. This was Sofia's favorite part, though she was very nervous. Helping Sofia pick out princess Mickey ears. Walking down Main Street and seeing Cinderella's Castle for the first time, my favorite part. Riding Prince Charming's Carousel. Watching the awesome show Mickey's PhilharMagic. Haunted Mansion ride. Amy and Preston ride Splash Mountain. Josef and I take the three girls to the Country Bear Jamborie. Pretty boring for adults, but wildly entertaining for the 3 and under crowd. Riding the Magic Carpet ride. Eating lunch in Frontier Land. Special gluten-free mac n' cheese made just for Sofia. Heading back to our hotel because we were wimps and couldn't stand the heat. Naps for everyone in the family. Spending the rest of the afternoon in the resort pool. One of our favorite parts of the whole trip. Walking to Downtown Disney for dinner. Waiting in three separate lines to eat at T-Rex. Ice cream in homemade chocolate-dipped cones at the Ghirardelli Store. Heading back to our room and going right to bed. Wishing the next day wasn't our final day in Disney World.

Disney World Day 2

2011-05-17T14:01:00.000-07:00

Highlights and pics of our second day at Disney World

Breakfast and then loading a bus to Animal Kingdom again. Kilimanjaro Safari ride where we saw many animals roaming free; very cool. Finding Nemo the musical. Mount Everest ride for the other three adults. Me watching the three kiddos in the meantime. Sofia refusing to take any family pictures. Lunch at Yak & Yeti (Asain food). The boys ride another roller-coaster. Playing and getting wet at the Boneyard. Naps in our room because the heat was so intense. The men make a trip to the grocery store. Epcot in the afternoon. Finding Nemo Aquarium. Turtle Talk with Crush. Nemo ride. Walking through Mexico, China, Germany, Morocco, England, Norway, Japan, America (I can't remember all the lands). Deeeelicious dinner at the Beirgarten in Germany. Dancing the polka and chicken dance with my two favorite people. Heading back to our room exhausted and wishing we had another day in Epcot.

Animal Kingdom

Epcot

Disney World Day 1

2011-05-17T13:21:00.000-07:00

Here are the highlights and pictures of Disney Day 1:

Waking up at the crack of dawn to catch our flight. Sofia throwing a fit about having take off her shoes and put her new Dora bag through security. A very pleasant plane ride. Riding the Disney Magical Express bus to our resort in DW (Disney World). Meeting up with Amy, Preston, and the twins (with whom we shared a two-room suite). Playing in Animal Kingdom before it closed at six. PB&J and cereal in our room for dinner. Josef and I walking to Downtown Disney for a more decent meal (Sofia was in bed). Ice Cream at the Ghirardelli Store.

Baby......

2011-05-09T11:24:00.000-07:00

Boy! That's what we are having, yea!! We found out on Wednesday. I had planned to do a cute post with pictures and funny anecdotes, but alas we are leaving for Disney World tomorrow morning so there is much to do to get ready.

Sofia has been talking about this trip for months and is so excited to see Mickey and find out where the princesses live. Me, I'm just trying not to be stressed and anxious. I told Josef that he will need to tell me repeatedly to chill out and enjoy our vacation.

Totally Rad!

2011-04-24T13:35:00.000-07:00

Josef and I were invited to a friend's surprise birthday/ graduation party last night. It was 80's themed and at a roller rink. We had so much fun planning our costumes and skating. Neither of us had been to a roller rink since we were teenagers. I was very shaky and extremely cautious (due to my "condition"), but Josef got out there and skated non-stop for at least an hour. It was fun just watching him. I love that he doesn't care what others think or do and can easily have fun doing anything. I really need to be more like that.

We found the inspiration for our costumes from this booklet on breaking dancing from the 80's. It's pretty entertaining to read if you want a good laugh.

Baby Bump: 18 weeks

2011-04-24T13:28:00.000-07:00

I am sure most of you will not care what my baby bump looks like, but I still have to document it for posterity. Also I need to note in my "journal" that 16 weeks was when I first felt this baby move. He/she loves to dance, swim, kick, and jump. I do not remember Sofia moving this much, so early. I love feeling this baby move because that was something I didn't feel with the last baby and it gives me hope that everything will be okay.

Decision Making

2011-04-12T13:43:00.000-07:00

For years I have struggled to decide what I want to be when I grow up. Well, I am 26, am married, have a three year old with another child on the way, own a house, own a car, and yet it has taken me this long to figure it out. First it was occupational therapy, then elementary music education, then special education, but none of them felt like the right choice for me. I have finally made a career choice I am excited and passionate about. I can't wait to graduate and get started, though I will have to wait another few years until I'm done.

I have decided to become a dietitian. Ever since we put Sofia on a special wheat-free diet to combat her health problems, I have learned more and more about how important proper nutrition is and I want to help other families. This degree will require a lot of science and a lot of hard work, but I know its the right choice for me!

Family Update

2011-04-07T14:45:00.000-07:00

As always its been awhile since I blogged, so I thought I would do an update on each of us.

Sofia: She was hit the terrible three's stage and it has been rough, but I'm trying to be more patient and to "chill-out". From what I'm told from my mommy friends it gets better half way through age three, so we are looking forward to July! Sofia has started attending "school". Which really is a co-op of four moms and four 3-year olds. She loves putting on her backpack once a week and heading off to school for two hours.

Josef: He still loves his job even though he has more responsibility and work now that he manages his own team of analysts. Josef recently purchased a long board (an extra long skateboard) and has tricked it out. He loves that the days are long and he can go ride it after work. It is a perfect way for him to unwind and feel like a kid again.

Me (Jenny): I am doing and feeling great. If you read the post two below, then you know I'm 16 weeks pregnant and due Sept. 20th. Last fall a bunch of girls from my ward formed a Supper Club in which we are each paired up and assigned a month to host a themed dinner party. This has been so much fun and I will post soon about my Breakfast for Dinner night. I finally decided on a college degree (Dietetics) and am registered to take a class this summer. Then in Fall 2012 hopefully I will be able to start taking more courses. Ultimately my goal is to graduate when I'm 30. So I have 3.5 years!

Other tidbits:
-We are going to Disney World in May. Sofia asks everyday when we are going there to see Mickey.
-We are working on our food storage. Finally.
-After we have food storage (our goal is by the end of the month), we will begin a complete remodel on our master bathroom. We're talking, everything goes.

Dallas Blooms

2011-04-07T14:13:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago Sofia and I went to see the beautiful spring flowers at the Dallas Arboretum with Josef's sisters Amy and Sarah, and cousins Sadie and Amber. Most of the pictures I'm sharing were taken by Sarah who has a much better eye for photography then I do. I am amazed at the quality difference between her pics and mine even though we were using the same kind of camera. I think it also has something to do with the fact that Sofia would prefer anybody else but me to take pictures of her.

I really don't like me in this pic, but I'm throwing it in to show that I do exist.

These three I took and I think they turned out well. Maybe I'm just not good with human subjects....

Big Sister

2011-04-07T14:02:00.000-07:00

Guess who is so excited to be a BIG sister in September?

I am 16 weeks along and feeling great. This pregnancy has been a wonderful blessing. I am amazed everyday that I don't feel sick and have so much energy. For the two of you who read my blog almost four years ago when I was pregnant with Sofia, you will remember that I was so sick I was bedridden for the the first 20 weeks. So the fact that I have only thrown-up twice is nothing short of a miracle.

We are over-the-moon excited and are feeling very optimistic and hopeful.

Counting My Blessings

2011-03-04T13:34:00.000-08:00

Today has been a hard day for me. With my former due date in just one week, I've been feeling waves of grief that I haven't felt in several months. I knew this would likely happen and so I've been dreading March. I really wish I could just skip over this month. The past few months I have remained fairly unattached emotionally, but not anymore. I hate feeling this way, its so miserable. This is why I am counting my blessings one by one, to hopefully dispel my emotional clouds.

These are just a teensy-weensy portion of my blessings.

My sweet Sofia; my own personal sun.
Josef who is a better husband then I could have asked for.
Having him by my side everyday; my support, love, and best friend.
Our extended family and the fact that most of them are within a 45 minute drive or less
My sister who, even though she lives many many hours away, has always been one of my best friends.
The Gospel of Jesus Christ and the Plan of Salvation
Financial stability in the form of Josef's job.
Being debt free aside from our mortgage.
Always having enough food to eat, clothes to wear, owning two cars, having a safe place to live
Friends. Amazing selfless friends. Each one is a blessing. (yes I realize how corny that sounds)
The Holy Temple
Technology
Being a pretty healthy person
Sunshine and springtime
The fact that Sofia is napping today
Date night with my love tomorrow night.
Good books that offer me an escape into another world......Any good book recommendations?
Music, another escape and source of comfort.
Living in America.

Valentines Day

2011-02-17T14:53:00.001-08:00

This year for Valentines Day Josef and I tried to put a little more creative effort into gift giving. As a result our presents and cards for each other were much more meaningful. Here are pictures of what we came up with.

I made Josef this accordion-style card that I saw in Martha Stewart Living. It is titled "6 things I love about you!". Each envelope has a card with a picture and one thing I love about him. I also gave him a small gift.

With Sofia's help we heart attacked the door that leads from the garage to our house. This was the first thing Josef saw when he came home from work Monday.

Josef made me a rose that he sculpted out of clay, painted, and baked in the oven. He also framed a recent picture of us along with a very sweet letter he wrote to me.

The Friday before Valentines we went to see Cirque Du Soliel's Ovo.
Unfortunately Sofia was very sick and as a result we were 30 minutes late, but it was still a wonderful show! When we got home afterward we found out that Sofia had thrown up all over her crib. Josef's dad was such a champ to watch Sicky Sofia for us so that we could go!

Number 3

2011-02-17T14:30:00.001-08:00

Sofia turned 3 a couple weeks ago. I honestly can't believe that she is already three! It makes me sad sometimes to think that her baby stage is over, but I'm also excited for all the wonderful things that this stage in her life will bring!

We had several small celebrations for her birthday instead of one big party and Sofia got spoiled at each one.
-Dinner and party at Oma and Poppy's house
-Dinner and presents with Grandpa
-Birthday lunch at Chic-fil-a with friends
-Birthday dinner at BJ's

Here are some facts about our sweet Sofia:
-She has been potty trained for a little over a month, though we are still having (ahem) #2 issues
-She loves it when we "talk to" her toys. Meaning we give them voices.
-She is so incredibly stubborn and insists on doing most everything herself.
-She asks why about everything
-She is very intuitive and is always quick to give me kisses and hugs (without being prompted) when I'm having a bad day.
-She loves doing art projects, singing songs and dance to music.
-No more binky as of last week!
-She is still in a crib.
-She isn't a picky eater anymore. Which I would have considered a miracle just a year ago.
-She is still on a wheat-free diet and has been for over a year.

Sofia has been a beacon of light in my life and I feel so incredibly blessed everyday to be her mother!

Josef's Birthday

2011-01-28T16:02:00.001-08:00

A couple weeks ago to celebrate Josef's 32nd birthday I surprised him with a romantic evening that involved a Venetian-style gondola ride (a Groupon deal) and dinner at a quiet Italian restaurant. We loved breaking the movie-dinner date mold, and doing something fun and different. After dinner we came home, "built" a fire (or just turned on the gas log) in our fireplace, and had dessert. It was a wonderful evening!

All I want for Christmas are kidney stones?

2011-01-07T12:59:00.000-08:00

Our December was....eventful. Right at the beginning of the month I had all these wonderful plans of the many "Christmas-y" traditions and outings we were going to have as a family. Then the morning of the 9th I awoke at 3am to the sounds of Josef in excruciating pain. It was scary. I have never seen a person in that amount of pain. We knew it was kidney stones, he had had them twice before. I just paced our bedroom while Josef writhed in agony on our bathroom floor. Forty-five minutes later we decided it was best to head to the ER, with Sofia in tow. Thankfully my mother-in-law answered the phone and she sent Josef's dad to meet us at the ER, so that he could take care of Sofia at home.

I won't go into much detail, but needless to say 3 weeks, two surgeries, two kidney stones, 1 ER visit, and many pain pills later, Josef finally passed his stones. As a result all my grand designs of the magical Christmas we were going to have, changed and were simplified. Our Christmas tree didn't even make an appearance until just a few days prior.

Here are pictures from our wonderfully simple Christmas.

Christmas Eve my parents came over and we made pizzas and opened presents. Sofia L-O-V-E-D helping Grandpa in the kitchen with the toppings and dough.

Christmas Day we woke up, had a deeelicious breakfast, opened presents and stockings, and then spent the rest of the day with Josef's entire family. I think one of the best parts was Preston coming home that morning from Afghanistan for his 2 week R&R! We were over joyed that Amy (Josef's sister), Preston, and their twin girls were reunited after 9 long months.

Mexico

2011-01-04T12:05:00.000-08:00

We had such a marvelous time in Mexico. After all we had been through the previous month with the miscarriage, it was wonderful to have something positive to focus on and to reconnect as a couple. It felt like falling in love all over again. Here are some of the highlights of our trip.

Leaving the country (my first time). Getting a stamp in my passport. Not traveling with a child. Delicious food. Bike tour of the resort. Going for a tandem bike ride. Eating food. Pina Coladas. Sleeping in. Reading "The Help" on the beach. Swimming in the Caribbean blue ocean. Getting to know some of the phenomenal staff. Lounging by the pool. Nightly shows. More amazing food. Beach volleyball. Playing pool. Making new friends. Learning backgammon. Dancing with Josef. Searching for seashells. Getting a tan. Not living by any one else's schedule but our own for 5 days

I have tons of pictures so bare with me...

The Resort

2010-12-19T19:16:00.000-08:00

The weekend before Thanksgiving Josef and I left Sofia with Oma and Poppy for 5 days, and we headed to Mexico for a much needed vacation. We stayed 4 nights and 5 days at the Valentin Imperial Maya resort which is 20 miles South of Cancun. The resort was a little slice of heaven. I felt a need to frequently pinch myself to make sure it was not a dream. Before I delve into all we did. Here are some pictures of the resort.

The Main Lobby

The Grounds

Our Room with a View

So That I Don't Forget

2010-12-13T21:01:00.000-08:00

After we lost the baby we never really sat Sofia down and told her that he was gone. My belly was only just starting to grow and she didn't really understand that her brother had been inside. A week or two later I was sitting at the kitchen table and Sofia came and lifted up my shirt. She touched my stomach and asked "There a baby in you tummy, mommy?" Josef and I looked quickly at each other and suddenly I knew exactly what to say "No, he's not in there anymore. He went back to live with Jesus and Heavenly Father in heaven, but we will be with him some day". As simple as these words were, saying them out loud brought me tremendous peace and I know what I said is true.

Why I Do It...

2010-12-13T13:30:00.000-08:00

Okay, so after the last post I thought some might wonder why I share such personal feelings, thoughts, and experiences on my blog. This is why I do it:

1. This blog is my journal. I want future generations to know what my life was like, what really happened, and how I felt.

2. Its therapeutic.

3. I hope that something I say will help someone else who is struggling.

Many blog writers I know mainly write about the good things in their lives and that's great! But for me I like to share the good, the bad, and the ugly. I guess that's just who I am.

I Will Carry You

2010-12-13T13:01:00.000-08:00

I have been debating whether to share this because so many of my posts lately have been sad. I promise I am doing so much better, but I came across this song today and I really wanted to share. Nearly three years ago I listened to this song while I held baby Sofia in my arms and cried thinking how hard it would be to experience this kind of loss. While there are mothers (including the one that wrote this song) who have gone through so much more then I have, these words bring me comfort. I am so thankful that Heavenly Father chose me to carry my precious son, even if only for 18 weeks.

I Will Carry You

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?

People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this

I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
I will praise the One Who's chosen me
To carry you

Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says...

I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?

I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
I will praise the One Who's chosen Me
To carry you

October Review

2010-12-12T13:01:00.000-08:00

I am way behind on blogging and have several posts to write, so I will let the pictures from October speak for themselves.

Blogs Posts Coming Soon!

2010-11-29T12:12:00.000-08:00

November has completely flown by and I can't believe that the day after tomorrow will be December. I'm sure some of you may be wondering how we're doing especially after the last post. Well, we are doing better! Many people told me after we lost the baby that healing would come with time, and I have found this to be so true. I still have days when I feel a heavy, immense sadness, but those days are becoming fewer and far between.

Coming soon will be posts about the entire month of October and a recent vacation to the Mayan Riviera (sans Sofia).

20 Weeks

2010-10-23T12:08:00.001-07:00

Yesterday would have marked 20 weeks in my pregnancy. For some reason this week has been much harder then last. I don't think the word "miscarriage" fully gives justice to what we've been through. Technically I was 14 weeks when it happened, but we wouldn't find out for another 4 weeks. So mentally and emotionally I was 18 weeks pregnant, just two weeks shy of the half way point.

I feel like I've lost a child. A son that I will never hold, never kiss, never rock to sleep, and never sing lullabies to. I feel like a part of me is missing, a part of our family. I miss him so much.

Josef and I have both felt that this little boy of ours will be waiting for us in heaven. This trial has brought new meaning and significance to God's Plan of Salvation. I am so thankful to know that there is life after death and there is a plan for even the smallest of God's children.

I look forward to the day when I will meet my little boy and our family will be complete.

She's All Girl

2010-10-14T12:58:00.000-07:00

Sofia is my little girly girl. She loves shoes, pretty clothes, makeup, baby dolls, and fairies. She also worships the two neighbor girls, who are ages 8 & 9, and talks about them all day until they come out to play in the late evening. She calls them "Big Kids". I try to have her use their real names, but they don't seem to mind. Last night when it was time for Sofia to come inside for dinner, one of the girls offered to carry Sofia to our front door so she wouldn't be sad about going inside. Too bad these girls won't be of babysitting age for another 4-5 years.

One of the only ways I can get Sofia to sit still long enough to brush and style her wild hair is by letting her play with some of my old makeup.

Dallas Zoo

2010-10-13T09:37:00.000-07:00

Josef had Monday off from work. When I got home from my Chiropractor appointment that morning I announced that we needed to get out of the house to do something fun and out of the ordinary. Twenty minutes later we were on the road to the Dallas Zoo. Despite the 1.5 hour drive due to traffic and the first 30 minutes at the Zoo when I thought I was going to puke, we had a great time. I only wish that we would have planned a little better and brought lunch so we could have avoided spending $30+ on food. Here are a few pictures of our fun afternoon.

Tender Mercies

2010-10-13T09:17:00.000-07:00

This week has been.....hard. There are times when I feel good and I know I can make it and everything will be just fine. Then there are other times when my heart aches and its hard to breath. Yesterday I went to the hospital for a minor surgical procedure that I hope will give us some closure, physical at least. Hopefully now the emotional healing will begin and life will start to get easier.

Despite all the heart ache, we have been humbled by the numerous tender mercies from the Lord that have been a part of this process. It is overwhelming to think about the amount of prayers being offered in our be half. We are so grateful for the many offers of service and help. I know that these people are working as instruments in Heavenly Fathers hand's and it is because of them that we are reminded that we have not been forsaken and that He is very much aware of and concerned for our family.

So thank you all for your love and support!

Loss

2010-10-09T11:00:00.000-07:00

I am not quite sure where to start. So I apologize in advance if my thoughts seem jumbled.

Yesterday I had a routine visit with my OB. Things started out smoothly, but then it came time to check the baby's heartbeat. After just a couple seconds of silence my heart began to pound. Several more seconds elapsed and I was having a hard time breathing. I'm 18 weeks along it should not be that hard to find a baby's heartbeat. Soon tears started filling my eyes and my mind was racing.

Part of me, a small part, knew this was going to happen. Earlier in the week I stepped on our bathroom scale and noticed that I had dropped about 4 pounds. When I looked in the mirror my baby bump seemed to have shrunk. I also have not been hungry as frequently. This past week has been an emotional roller-coaster of worry, pain, and disbelief. I have spent so much time in prayer searching for peace. At first I wanted to pray that I would know the baby was alright, but I couldn't. I just prayed that no matter what happened that I would find peace.

After not being able to find the heartbeat on her own, my doctor sent me for an immediate sonogram. The technician didn't have to say anything. Looking at the screen not seeing any movement or heartbeat, I knew my baby boy was gone. He died 4 weeks ago at 14 weeks.

The pain, the emptiness, the devastation. I can't adequately express how I felt; how I feel. What I can tell you is how loved I feel by all those around me and by my Heavenly Father.

I don't understand why this has happened. I still have a hard time believing that it has, but I know that in time I will be okay.

A Woman on a Mission

2010-10-07T13:12:00.000-07:00

I was looking through our pictures today and realized how few recent pictures we have of just the three of us; Josef, Sofia, and I. Then I started searching for pictures of just Josef and I....Lets just say I am now a woman on a mission. I am going to make my best effort to stock up on family and couple pictures because I need further evidence that I am in fact very happily married and we do have a beautiful 2 1/2 year old daughter whom we are proud to take out in public. Another thing that needs to be documented is that I am pregnant though it is debatable whether I'm actually showing yet, but that's for another post.

To show you all how pathetic my photographic "familial evidence" is here are the last family and couple pictures that were taken.

This was taken, as I am sure you guessed, on Sofia's 2nd birthday in January. (Which by the way I don't think I ever blogged about. Paaathetic!)

This was taken at the U2 concert last October.

I am officially shamed.

Adventures at the Emergency Room 2

2010-10-04T16:48:00.000-07:00

For those of you (all two of you) who read my blog three years ago, you may remember a post similarly titled (click here if you really want to read it).

Last Monday was a miserable day. I woke up with an extremely painful migraine and from there it just went down hill. I was throwing up twice an hour for nearly 12 hours and the pain in my neck and head was almost blinding at times. Looking back I truly feel that I had divine help because I really do not know how I was able to care for Sofia. After a few hours I was so weak I felt like I might passed out and my legs buckled several times as well. When Sofia woke up from her nap, I knew I needed to get help. I called my doctor and spoke with the nurse. She instructed me to take my anti-nausea medicine with just spit and wait 20 minutes to see if it would stay down. If it did I was to take my migraine medicine. Unfortunately, 10 minutes later the anti-nausea medicine came back up. The nurse told me if this happened then I needed to go to the emergency room.

A wonderful friend took Sofia and fed her dinner and put her to bed while Josef took me to the hospital. We were there for four hours. One poor nurse tried very hard to get an IV into my tiny veins. It didn't help that she seemed very inexperienced and being severely dehydrated made my blood vessels shrink. She finally got a very slow IV started on my wrist (OUCH!). After a while a second nurse came in and started me a new IV that was much faster and seemed painless compared to the other attempts. At 10pm, after I had finished a bag of fluids, could keep some jello down, and my migraine was gone, the doctor sent us home.

Can I just tell you how very thankful I am for WATER! After 24 hours of not being able to keep any down, it felt glorious to sip ice cold water.

Here are some pictures of my sweet patient little girl who was so angelic on Monday.

Summer Fun

2010-09-25T13:46:00.000-07:00

A while back Sofia had a summery play-date with her two buddies and my friend (who hosted) emailed me the pictures. These three kiddos are like the three musketeers and always have so much fun together.

So long Summer, here comes Fall! The weather this week is so supposed to range from 75-85 degrees, which for someone who lives in the South is something to celebrate. I can't wait for the leaves to start turning and to get out my Autumn decorations!

Tina's Sprinkle

2010-09-17T12:37:00.000-07:00

A little over a month ago my sis-in-law Amy and I threw Josef's other sister Tina a baby "sprinkle" for her second daughter. We had a lot of fun brain storming ideas, decorating, and planning the food. Unfortunately all the week beforehand I was pretty sick (with pregnancy) so most of the credit for how everything turned out, including the cleanliness of my kitchen, must be attributed to Amy.

We were going for a "fancy french" theme and I just love how everything turned out. The main thing that irks me is that out of the 11 people (not including the 5 family members) that RSVP'd "yes" only 3 or 4 showed up! I know I need to let it go because the whole purpose of the shower was to show Tina how much we love her and little Addison. So in that regard it was a great success.

Today...

2010-09-14T20:37:00.000-07:00

Sofia woke up way too early, screeching at me.

I fed us both breakfast (mine came back up) and turned a show on for her.

I hopped in the shower, dressed, threw some curling product in my hair, and slapped on some make-up.

With a few minutes remaining on Sofia's show I filled out my passport application and then got Sofia dressed.

We went to CVS to get my passport picture taken.

Then headed across the intersection to the post office to finish the passport application process.

After that was complete, I got in line to mail Josef's renewal application only to realize I wasn't quite sure how to do it and I didn't have the address.

The lady I spoke with was not helpful and very rude. We headed home so I could answer my questions online.

Stopped at Sonic to get Sofia (and myself) some lunch as a reward for not being completely difficult at the post office.

Went to Sam's club.

Came home, put Sofia down for a nap, and I rested long enough to realize how sick I was feeling.

Sofia woke up and I found my passport answers online.

We both ate a snack and then headed back for round two at the P.O.

I successfully mailed off Josef's passport renewal application.

Back at home, Sofia played while I concentrated on not throwing up.

Josef came home, we had dinner, got Sofia in bed, and I was finally able to rest.

I can't look...

2010-09-04T13:21:00.000-07:00

How long has it been since I last posted? I can't bring myself to look. I feel like I've lost the motivation to blog. Pregnancy makes me lazy I guess. Oh, yeah I guess I haven't made the official blog announcement. I am pregnant and we're having a boy! March 11th is my official due date. My first trimester just ended so some of you may be wondering how we already know the gender. My doctor's office offers an early screen test done at 12 weeks that involves an ultrasound and finger prick. The point is to determine risk factors for down-syndrome, but really I was just anxious to know if we were having boy.

I feel so very blessed with this pregnancy. Weeks 7-10 were rough, but not nearly as bad as my sickness with Sofia. I still get gaggy every once in while and come very close to "losing it", but all in all I feel great! My only complaint is that I am at the fat stage now. I do not really look pregnant, I just look pudgy.

Josef and I are planning a tropical vacation this November. We are heading to Cancun for a few days and leaving Sofia with Grandparents. We are so incredibly excited to be going on a do-nothing holiday that is completely devoted to us.

Now that I have finally stopped procrastinating this, I have several more posts (with pictures). So stay tuned!

Playdough

2010-07-23T20:56:00.000-07:00

Technicolored

2010-07-18T20:59:00.000-07:00

Before

After

Before

After

The Point

2010-07-18T20:01:00.000-07:00

The main purpose of me posting a picture a day in July was to motivate myself to blog more frequently. No I haven't been consistent in my daily blogging, but I have done more posts this month alone then in the past three months combined. I still feel good about that fact even though my goal won't be reached.

On to the pictures.....

At the beginning of June we went down to Orange, TX with Josef's parents to visit his grandma. Despite the indescribably filthy (you'd have to see it to believe it) state and complete disrepair of Nanny's house, we are so glad we went and had a happy time.

Sofia with Oma

The three of us with Nanny

Pardon the poor picture quality, these are scanned copies. Oh and also, please disregard my nappy hair; it is HUMID down there!

Pigtails!

2010-07-14T19:48:00.001-07:00

The other day I bribed Sofia into pigtails by letting her watch Veggie Tails on YouTube. She sat in my lap while I did the deed. Please ignore the poor brushing and parting technique. I'm still "hair-training" my wiggle worm.

The Task at Hand

2010-07-14T19:43:00.001-07:00

This is a picture of what greets me when I walk through the door from the garage. It just screams "FOLD ME!", but some how I've been able to ignore it for a couple weeks. However, I finally broke down and did it.

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate to fold laundry.

(Note: This was only a fraction of the laundry that needed to be dealt with.)

Little Buddies

2010-07-11T20:24:00.001-07:00

These two have been buddies for a long time in toddler years. Nothing makes me smile quite like hearing the belly laughs that only these two can elicit from each other. I love hearing them bang on the piano together while singing "Twinkle, Twinkle" at the top of their lungs. I also love the rare occasions when I don't have to spend 2 hours breaking up fights, and they just magically and harmoniously play together like the little angels they are deep down.

EAT MOR CHIKIN!

2010-07-10T07:09:00.000-07:00

Friday was cow appreciation day at Chick-fil-A. In honor of cows, they gave free meals to anyone who came in dressed as one. Sofia is one pretty cow! Wouldn't you agree?

Side note: I think her ears turned out more like a bunny's rather then s cow's, but whatever she is she sure is cute!

Piano Lamp

2010-07-08T15:32:00.000-07:00

I decided to try my hand at spray painting last week, but I wanted to stick with a low risk project. So I thought that my ugly brass piano lamp would be the perfect test subject. I primed it and then spray painted it with a few coats of satin nickel. Here are a couple pictures of my project:

Primed...

And Painted

The lamp looks much better, however I'm not crazy about the paint. I want it to be more shiny and smooth, like real metal. I bought the cheap-o brand at Wal-mart, so I'm going to try a more expensive brand from the hardware store. If I find a paint we love then I will move on to other brass items like ceiling fans and outdoor lights.

a movie and lunch

2010-07-06T19:04:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning we took Sofia to see Toy Story 3, which was her very first movie in a theater. She did great and was only restless during the never-ending previews. A few times during the movie she even held Daddy's hand. It was pretty cute! After the movie we had lunch at the food court and then rode the carousel. I love spending time with my little family!

Funny Monkey

2010-07-05T10:45:00.000-07:00

Sofia is quite the comedian these days. She loves to do something random and then say "Look Mama, I'm funny!"

Beater Lickin', Bowl Scrapin' Good!

2010-07-04T21:38:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday I made one seriously deeeelicious Fudge Bundt Cake (click here for the recipe) that was so good I couldn't wait for it to bake. I scraped every last bit of batter out of the bowl and licked the beaters clean. I may have gone a little over board, but I did stop short of shoving my face in the bowl to lick in clean.

Reach for the Sky

2010-07-04T05:42:00.001-07:00

I do feed my child. She was just reaching so hard that her tummy disappeared. You can see the determination on her face! (She's on the right)

It's a few days into a month of pictures and I already missed a day, woops! Oh well, two posts for today.

Little Miss

2010-07-02T17:28:00.000-07:00

Here is a little about Little Miss Sofia in bullet points.

I have a love-hate relationship with her hair: I love when it forms in to perfect little ringlets; I hate that she rarely lets me touch it and that she screams when I take a brush to it.
Sofia is the queen of dance! She will dance her little heart out to music in any form, even Daddy's beat-boxing.
Sofia especially loves having the undivided attention of everyone in the room when she performs.
She's been on a wheat-free diet since Christmas and it has made world of difference.
This diet was a hassle at first, but I'm used to it and we all eat tremendously healthier because of the change. I no longer consider her a picky eater!
Sofia is still as tiny as they come, but it suits her.
She graduated to a size 4 diaper a few months ago
Sofia's movie obsessions (the only two she's ever seen) are Chicken Little and Horton Hears a Who.
I love to watch Sofia draw and color. She is much more deliberate and has much more small muscle control then just a month ago.
She is Miss Independent. "I do it!" is the most frequently used sentence in her vocabulary. Most of the time I try to be patient and let her experience things and make her own choices, but I have moments when I just want to scream.
Today she put on her shorts, socks (different colors), and sandals (wrong feet of course) by herself. She was proud.
She is STUBBORN! This is her personality trait that tries my patience the most.
She loves to sing. Monday evening we spent 45 minutes singing the Wheels on the Bus, making up different verses.
Her favorite songs are Twinkle, Twinkle and ABC's. I didn't realize that they have the same melody until she requested that I play them on the piano.
Sofia likes to make up her own lyrics and will sing them LOUDLY in public places.
She loves when strangers pay attention to her.

Sorry this is so lengthy. I know most won't care, but I want to remember this age. I love it!

July: In pictures

2010-07-02T17:22:00.000-07:00

In July my goal is to post at least one picture a day. I've been completely unmotivated to do anything on this blog and I haven't been very good about taking pictures. Some posts probably will not have anything more then a title and a picture and some might have many pics with lengthy explanations. It will be interesting to see how creative (or not) I may need to get half way through the month when I begin to lose steam.

First Pick of the Season

2010-06-06T20:40:00.000-07:00

We attempted an above-ground garden this year and so far we've had much more success then last year. Which isn't very hard since most of our plants died last time. I will say though that we still have many things to learn about gardening, but with every new season will come more experience and hopefully even more success.

I love eating food that we've grown ourselves, its so satisfying! Last night I sauteed one giant zucchini in chicken broth, lemon juice, garlic, and salt and pepper. Tonight I threw some red skinned potatoes in the crock pot with our chicken dinner. Yum!

(From Left to Right we have zucchini, yellow squash, red skinned potatoes, and carrots)

Explosive Saturday

2010-06-03T13:23:00.000-07:00

On Saturday we had a little barbecue with some friends. Everyone brought their own meat to throw on our grill and some scrumptious sides to share. Quick side note: I really do NOT like our grill, but it came with the house so I try not to complain too much. After about ten minutes I noticed that the light in the grill went out (looking back I also remember smelling gas...). I returned from the house with the lighter, knelt down, lit the lighter, stuck it in the hole close to the bottom of the grill and BOOM! I was thrown back on my rear. As soon as I hit the ground, I turned over and started scrambling away as fast as my knees and hands could carry me. In that instant all that I could think was "Get the heck away!!"

In actuality everything was fine. The explosion was contained within the grill and the grill is bolted to the concrete (otherwise it would have rocketed). I have a nicely skinned knee and feel very very stupid. So let this be a lesson of how not to light a grill!

We Can Do Hard Things

2010-05-27T09:25:00.000-07:00

I want to share with you a story our Stake President (the area leader of our church) shared with us at a meeting a few weeks ago. Some of you may remember that Josef and I were asked to help with a youth Trek for our church back in March. On the first night of the Trek after hiking and pulling handcarts all day we arrived at a big campground relieved to be done for the day, and were told to make dinner for our "families". As we ate dinner the sun set and the sky filled with big twinkling stars, like I've never seen in Texas. Just when we thought our journey for the day was over and we gave into exhaustion, we were told we all had another 3-5 miles to pull our handcarts before we would be done. One young man was very upset by this unwelcomed news and told the Stake President that he wasn't sure if he could go any further. He was just too tired. This feeling was shared by many participants. But we didn't have a choice, so we packed up our handcarts and continued on in the dark, up a rocky trail. When those final miles were nearly complete, the same young man ran into the Stake President and shared what he had learned that night: "We can do hard things!"

I remember sitting in the meeting listening to this story and thinking how profoundly true that statement is! Those words have stuck with me and have become my new motto the past couple months. We can do hard things and we can do them well.

Josef and I have been praying for a specific blessing in our lives. A blessing that seems to be continually eluding us. It's so frustrating and disappointing and hard. Thankfully we have been blessed with the ability to do hard things and to find joy along the way. I am so blessed with an amazingly patient husband and a very intuitive two year old, who always seems to know just when I need her sweet kisses and hugs.

My challenges remind me that we are always on the Lord's time and that the greatest blessings in life are worth waiting for!

Mother's Day Weekend

2010-05-11T13:23:00.000-07:00

I think Mother's Day weekend is my one of my favorite weekends of the entire year. Its all about delicious food, fabulous friends, sweet family moments, pampering, and of course ME!

Friday night we met up with my parents and my cousin Bethany and her family for dinner at Sweet Tomatoes. Saturday morning I had wonderful "Mother's Morning Out" with a couple friends and later that day we went to my nieces 3rd birthday party at a park. Sunday morning I got to sleep in (yay) and woke up to a house decorated in purple streamers and balloons. Josef and Sofia gave me sweet cards and a Belgian waffle maker. Since we have church at 2:30pm, we lounged in our PJs all morning and spent some quality family time together. It was a wonderful weekend!

The only pictures I have to share are from dinner Friday night and the party on Saturday.

Daddy Hugs

2010-05-02T19:08:00.000-07:00

Sofia is a Daddy's girls through and through. Her all-time favorite book, that she nearly has memorized, is Daddy Hugs by Karen Katz. This is what comes to mind when I look at this picture. These two share a special bond and I just love it!

Glasses

2010-05-01T05:17:00.000-07:00

My friend took this picture of Sofia while she was playing at their house. Apparently she kept her glasses on for about half of an hour. Sofia makes me laugh.

Sprinkle Fun

2010-04-29T18:19:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago we turned on a sprinkle in our backyard and let Sofia run around. To say she loved it would be a complete understatement. For me, I loved it because the lighting was perfect with the sun setting and Sofia was actually cooperative. I took some good pictures and as you will see I had a really hard time choosing which ones to post. Sorry if they seem repetitive!

This last one is my favorite of the bunch because it embodies her carefree toddler spirit.

Enhanced and Cropped

2010-04-07T18:24:00.000-07:00

I've been playing around with iPhoto and learning some very limited photo editing. There isn't a whole lot you can do on iPhoto, but you can play around with the coloring and exposure. Sometimes it can go a long way to enhance a picture. So I thought I would show you the two changes I made to this one picture that my friend Carly took on her fabulous camera.

The original.

After I boosted the color and shifted the temperature of the picture.

Cropped in black and white.

One thing I would love to be able to do with this last picture is keep the eggs in color with everything else in B&W. Too bad I don't have the proper software. Someday...

So what do you think of my rookie photo editing?

Best Buds

2010-04-07T13:13:00.001-07:00

I love this girl. She's currently yelling my name from her crib. I'm trying to ignore her. We'll see how long it lasts.

Easter

2010-04-06T12:30:00.000-07:00

We had a great Easter this year. We ate a delicious home-cooked German meal with Josef's family and then had an Easter egg hunt and dinner with our wonderful friends. Here are some pictures from the egg hunt. Sofia did such a good job hoarding all the eggs. Luckily I was able to hide her basket afterward and she forgot about all the candy.

It Was Worth It

2010-04-05T13:18:00.001-07:00

Despite the 20 +miles hiked, blistered raw feet, sunburned hands, arms, and face, and unbelievable amounts of mud to pull our handcart through, it was all worth it. After we were sent home early on Saturday we were told to report back, with our trek families, later that afternoon to the stake center for a special meeting.When the meeting began we were very surprised and blessed to find out that we would all be able to shake the hand of an apostle of God, Elder Dallin H. Oaks! After shaking more then 300 hands he briefly spoke to us and shared his testimony, after which the youth then shared their testimonies. What a spiritual (and long, it lasted more then 3 hours) meeting!

Here are some things I don't want to forget about our Trek experience.

The MUD! Probably more then half of the miles we walked were through mud that, in places, was thigh high.
As a result of a mud hole in the very beginning two of our girls lost their shoes and had to walk 10 miles barefoot.
Our family, which consisted of a "Ma and Pa" and 4 girls and 3 boys ages 13-16, were so strong and always willing to pull the wagon. I was very impressed with this group youth!
The 5 extra miles we hiked after we thought we were done Thursday night and the blessing from Heavenly Father that President Dotter invoked on each of us that we would have angels to help us pull through the dark rocky trails. For truly the angels were there!
The Friday night musical fireside that I was blessed to be a part of even though I had to sing a solo while I had laryngitis.
Doing more then I physically thought possible because I was strengthened by the Lord.

The End

2010-03-29T06:57:00.001-07:00

Note: I'm recording this experience as a result of counsel from the stake president. I won't be offended if you skim through it.

I thought I would start my story of Trek from the end. The end was unexpected and didn't go as planned. Many might think that it didn't end well, but I think this was the way God intended.

We'll begin in the wee hours of Saturday morning, day three of trek; the final day. I'm not sure what time it started raining, but it seemed to have started not very long after midnight. It poured and the winds blew fiercely. There were several times when I thought my tent would blow over. I was so grateful for my tent and my warm sleeping bag.

Around 3:30 I was on the verge of consciousness and realized my feet were wet. I sat up reaching around, thinking that my water bottle tipped over, but I found other puddles of water and realized that the rain water must have flooded the tarp under the tent. I scooched my sleeping bag to a dry area and drifted back to sleep. A few short minutes later I found once again that my feet were wet. Several more times I adjusted my sleeping bag to a dry area until there wasn't one. I remembered an emergency blanket (you know those thin silvery ones) in my first aid kit, so I retrieved it and spread it out to keep me dry.

A little while later I heard a drip drip drip by my head. The rain fly was leaking. I moved and tried to go back to sleep. This happened again and again until about 5am I gave up any attempt at sleep and waited for the sun to come up and the rain to stop. An hour later the rain let up a little (it was still drizzling) and I was bored. I packed up my stuff and said a prayer that rain would stop. Josef brought me my sad little rain poncho and then I put on my wet shoes.

Every hour proceeding seemed to bring a new level of physical misery; fresh ankle-deep mud and icy water was every where and the temperature was quickly falling. The rain stopped pouring but it continued to mist us with water. There was no way to stay dry, no shield from the wet and cold. I made no attempts to cheer up. I allowed myself to sink into self pity. "Why did I come?" and "I will NEVER do this again!" were the thoughts that I allowed to pollute my spirits.

The decision to end trek six or seven hours early was made by the Stake President when it became apparent that conditions were only going to get worse. I'll never forget the joyous cheers of the youth when we shared the news with them. I will also never forget the relief in there eyes when they boarded the warm dry cars that rescued them and whisked them home.

Even though Trek did not have the "happy" ending that the leaders had envisioned from the beginning, I firmly believe that this ending was the will of the Lord. Testimonies formed and strengthened in such a way that may not have been the result of other circumstances. It taught me that God truly is in control and its up to us to find joy in every moment of our journey.

To Do...

2010-03-15T11:47:00.000-07:00

I have so so much to do these next few days. At the end of the week Josef and I will be going on a pioneer trek with the youth in our church and we are responsible for bringing a TON of stuff. Most of the things on your list is stuff that we need to borrow or buy. On top of compiling all of our stuff, I need to prepare Sofia for the three days away from us. I'm trying not to be too obsessive and anxious, but its hard with Sofia's eating problems and the fact that she has never spent more then 24 hours away from us...

More for my benefit then your entertainment, here is my to do list:

Buy fabric for pioneer skirt and deliver to friend who so generously offered to make it for me.
Buy white button down shirt and bonnet to match skirt.
Buy shirts for Josef.
Call doc and put MIL (mother-in-law) on list of people who can take Sofia in for an appt.
Find vest or suspenders to complete Josef's pioneer wardrobe.
Plan Sofia's meals, and purchase and cook food.
Write down Sofia's routine for MIL
Compile pioneer stories into small notebook for nightly devotionals
Finish memorizing the words to songs for Friday's musical fireside.
Buy insoles for my second pair of shoes.
Compile (and water proof when necessary) the remaining items on list of things to bring.
Pack everything Sofia will need while at Oma and Poppy's house.

I know there is much more and I will probably think of it later (hopefully). Wish me luck!

More Pictures

2010-03-08T06:09:00.000-08:00

My sister sent me a few pictures she took while Sofia and I were visiting. All of these are from the Phoenix Children's Museum. Here they are in no particular order:

Peace

2010-03-07T20:06:00.000-08:00

This past week was been stressful. I won't go into depth. On Saturday every negative emotion I had been feeling seemed to culminate until I couldn't handle anymore. I needed peace. So I dropped my plans to clean and shop, left Sofia with Josef, and headed to the Holy Temple. Oh the sweet, simple, encompassing peace of the House of the Lord. How blessed I am to live less then 30 minutes away from a temple and how easily I forget it!

I have also found peace in the stories of my ancestors. Josef and I were asked to go on the youth pioneer trek for our stake, as a "ma and pa". We have been encouraged to learn pioneer stories to share with our youth throughout the week. On Friday my Dad brought over a book filled with stories and information about my ancestors who were in the Martin Handcart company. My great-great-great grandmother Mary lost her husband and youngest son (who was just a few months old) on that journey and had to continue on with her remaining 5 children. Knowing the unspeakable sacrafices, tragedies, and trials she had to endure all in the name of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ has brought me such peace these past couple days.

I am so thankful for peace. Even though life hasn't magically become easy and care free, I feel blessed to be strengthen by peace.

Burned Out

2010-03-04T10:55:00.000-08:00

I am feeling so burned out right now. I've lost my enthusiasm and energy with Sofia's nutrition. I don't think very many people understand how stressful it is to feed an incredibly underweight picky child who doesn't like to eat. Meals are a time of great foreboding, tension, and anxiety. I feel like a horrible mom. My child isn't getting enough to eat to gain weight. I've tried so many things; excited each time that I may have found the cure only to be met with resistance and disappointment. I have tried tricking, bargaining, and even pleading with Sofia. Nothing works. Sure she eats, some. I don't think she's malnourished and according to blood work she doesn't have any major nutritional deficiencies. I'm just so tired and today I feel void of patience. I yelled at Sofia at the end of lunch and made her cry and then broke down myself. I'm ashamed.

I shouldn't be complaining. I am so incredibly blessed in most other areas of my life, but at times this just becomes all-consuming. This is one of those times.

The sun is always bright and warm on the other side of the clouds. I just hope the clouds part soon. I am ready for spring!

Lesson Learned

2010-02-28T20:21:00.000-08:00

I did it! I posted 28 times (if my calculations are correct) in February! Granted I skipped a day here and there, and I had to make up for it by doing double posts some days, but 28 posts in one month is a huge accomplishment for me! Going into this I really wanted to reinvigorate my blogging and force myself to find things to blog about even when I felt dull and boring. It was hard at times and often felt like one more thing to cross off my list at the end of the day, but I feel such a sense of accomplishment when I read my blog after I post something. I love it even more when I get comments! I'm pretty sure I'm going to be more consistent and frequent with my posts from now on, or at least for the next few months.

Life can be as boring or interesting as we make it. That's a lesson I've learned this month.

Seriously?

2010-02-28T20:08:00.000-08:00

Seriously Sofia, do you really have pink eye again? Are you really sick for the fourth time in a month?

Seriously? Is our newish 2007 Toyota Avalon with low mileage seriously having yet another problem? (Thank goodness for warranties though) The third or fourth since we bought it this fall?

Seriously? Do I really see my husband less on Sundays then I do on work days? Whatever happened to nice relaxing sabbath days spent with the family?

Seriously?.......Okay I can't think of anything else to complain about. The sad thing is that I actually tried. I guess if these three things are all I have to complain about right now then I'm pretty blessed.

Video

2010-02-26T20:05:00.000-08:00

One of Sofia's favorite past times is to sit in my lap at the computer and watch the home videos that we've taken with our camera. This one is her current favorite. I took this while she was coloring Grandpa's birthday card. Sofia cracks up every time she hears herself say "ouch" in the video.

Arizona

2010-02-26T19:00:00.000-08:00

Last month Sofia and I visited my sister in Arizona for a week. I was a little nervous at first to fly by myself with Sofia, but she did so great, on the way there and back! I heeded the advice of two people who suggested giving Sofia a lolly pop during take off. She sucked on her ring pop and looked at the Sky Mall magazine with me for the first 40 minutes of the flight. Sofia cried briefly on the descent and tugged on her ears, but other then that she was super quiet the entire two hours. The flight home she was really exhausted and cuddled with me in various positions almost the whole time. I was so relieved the flight went so well.

While Sofia and I were there she and her cousin Aaron, who's just 6 months older, were inseparable the entire week. Aside from a few sharing problems, they played so well together. In AZ we played, ate, shopped, went to the library, played, watched movies and Gilmore Girls, played, visited two children's museums, shopped, and relaxed.

For your viewing pleasure, here are some pictures from the Mesa and Phoenix Children's Museums we visited. I have to say that Phoenix was hands down the best! It was amazing. We could have spent hours upon hours there if the kids didn't need to eat or sleep. Sofia's favorite part was the extremely realistic, child sized grocery store. Sorry for the poor quality of the pictures. Sofia and Aaron wouldn't cooperate and look at the camera unless I tricked them.

This part was cool because they got to paint this big castle!

Sofia was standing over something that blew up air:
These next two pictures crack me up because they are just so bad! This is Sofia's mid-blink face. I guess one eye blinks faster then the other.
Aaron had the same problem too...

It was so much fun to spend time with my sister and her family. I hope we won't have to wait long before we can spend time together again!

Fireplace: Before and After

2010-02-24T19:32:00.000-08:00

While I was in Arizona last month Josef worked hard on re-tiling our fireplace. We absolutely love the result! Its not entirely complete yet. We still need to clean the thin grout residue that's still on the tiles and then seal everything, but it looks great already. Our final step for our fireplace makeover will be to spray paint the gold on the glass cover, black.

Here are the before and after pictures.

Before

After

Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel

2010-02-23T19:32:00.000-08:00

I am really struggling for topics this week. I just have 5 more posts, after this one, until the end of the month. I need to start thinking about writing earlier in the day. My problem is that I always wait until the end of the day when I'm tired and just post something, anything so I can say I've done it and go to bed. That's who I am. I am one of the world's foremost authorities on procrastination. I have 25 years of hands on experience. So here's a new goal for the remaining 5 days. To get each post done before 8pm and to have a picture with each.

I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.

How Cute is This?

2010-02-22T20:46:00.000-08:00

I am seriously considering an attempt at this pillow. I think a pair of these would look so cute on my couch in green and cream. The best part is that its a no sew project!

I may as well post something...

2010-02-22T01:19:00.000-08:00

...since I'm up anyway. I didn't post yesterday. I was pretty tired so I went to bed early, but Sofia has been up for over an hour with a persistent cough. Its 3:15am. I tried giving her some water and left the sippy cup in her bed. I turned her humidifier up full blast. I gave her a pillow to elevate her head. I contemplated getting her out of bed and doing our steam shower treatment that worked this morning. I did a little googling (is that a word), found some more suggestions and then it dawned on me. I feel stupid I didn't think of it in the first place. She's coughing because the mucus is draining down the back of her throat (sorry for the description). I just went in there and sucked her nose (again sorry) and I haven't heard a peep out of her since. She's quiet now and I'm going to crawl back in bed!

Audrey's Sprinkle

2010-02-20T18:33:00.000-08:00

Apparently a "Sprinkle" is what you call a baby shower for someone who already has children. Learn something new everyday! We had an absolute blast planning this shower. Carly and I just kept feeding off each other's ideas until everything was as perfect as we could get it. I am so in love with how it all turned out! Make sure you click on some of the pictures to get a better look. There were seven kinds of cookies and four flavors of milk. Unfortunately we didn't get a picture of all the milks in their cute glass jugs, woops! Enjoy the pictures!

The "Sprinkles" Carly made

The party favors

Just Got Home

2010-02-19T21:06:00.000-08:00

Tonight my friend Carly and I threw our great friend a Cookies and Milk baby shower for her second girl. I don't think it could have turned out cuter! We got the original inspiration here and then customized it for a girl (think pink and brown). We have sooooooo many cookies left over, so beware if you live close by we may be unloading some cookie goodness on you. Unfortunately I don't have any pictures to share yet. Carly has them all on her camera, so check back in tomorrow for the cuteness!

Uuuuuhhh.....

2010-02-18T20:34:00.000-08:00

My mind is tired tonight. I can't think of anything witty to write about and I don't have any new and exciting pictures to share so I thought I would just give you a run down of my day today.

I woke up early and showered before Sofia woke up at 7am. This is the first time I've done this.
Fed the two of us breakfast and then finished getting ready.
9am headed over to Carly's to figure out decor for baby shower. The kids did great playing while we worked and only bothered us when they were hungry or hurt.
12pm brought Sofia home for lunch and then nap at 1:20.
While Sofia napped I cleaned the kitchen, watched Les Miserables on Netflix, and checked blogs.
3:30 Sofia wakes up. I feed her a snack and we head to Kroger for some groceries at 4pm.
When we get home Sofia and I watch Elmo video clips on Sesamestreet.com and then I slap some make up on to meet Josef for dinner.
5:45 we meet Josef for dinner at Fudruckers. Mmmmm burgers....
Afterward I go to Wal-Mart for more groceries while Josef takes Sofia home.
7:10pm I return home and Sofia is already in bed, woohoo!! I sneak in anyways and get my good night kisses and hugs from my little love bug.
Josef and I spend some quality time together.
8:30 I start unwrapping a big bag of cookies n' cream kisses while watching the Olympics.
Then I chop them and make dough for cookies n' cream chocolate biscotti.
This whole process takes too long and I'm tired, so I decide to chill the dough over night and bake the biscotti tomorrow morning.
10:20pm start blogging
10:45 finish blogging and get ready for bed!

Random Thought

2010-02-17T20:01:00.000-08:00

I was walking out of Wal-Mart yesterday morning and was suddenly struck with how grateful I am to be living in such a diverse area. On any given day at this WM your are sure to find people from just about every race. I love it! I never realized how much I love diversity until we were visiting family this summer (in a certain state NW of here). Josef and I took Sofia to a neighborhood park and I kid you not, 90% of the children there were blond haired blue eyed. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of my heritage and who I am, but I realized how much I love to be around different types of people, from different races, countries, and cultures. It makes life interesting. It also reminds me that God truly is no "respecter of persons", meaning he loves everyone equally no matter our skin color, language, religion, culture, or income . We all have equal access to his love and forgiveness.

I'm thankful for random moments and thoughts like this that remind not only how much I'm loved, but also those around me.

Curly Sue

2010-02-16T19:34:00.000-08:00

Sunday after Sofia's bath I decided to style her hair with a little of my mouse. I did it while she was occupied with her lunch. I LOVE the outcome! Unfortunately I wasn't thinking when I styled it just before her nap. I really wish I would have had the time to take a picture of what her hair looked like post-nap. It was hilarious! She looked like the Bride of Frankenstein. However, we have church at 2:30, so we were in a rush to get her out of bed and in the car. I didn't even have time to brush it before we left. I tried smoothing it down as we walked into Sacrament Meeting. But there was no taming "the thing", not even after wetting it down with a baby wipe. Thankfully I had a bow in my bag that helped a little. I love Sofia's hair, there is never a dull boring day when it comes to her mane.

Here's another cute picture of my little Sofie. This was taken by my friend later that day when "the thing" had quieted down a little.

Day 15

2010-02-15T19:33:00.000-08:00

Its Day 15 of my month of blogging and I'm starting to struggle with topics. I have lots of Sofia themed topics I will probably eventually use, but I don't want you to get bored only ever reading about my child. Anyways if you have any topic suggestions go ahead and leave a comment. I would really love some ideas!

This weekend was a good one. It wasn't an exceptionally romantic holiday, but I did get to spend some quality time with my love so I'm happy with how things went. On Saturday Josef and I took a class at Central Market that was all about chocolate. We got to sit and watch a chef make all these amazing chocolate desserts which we were able to sample afterward. All in all it was a good date. I was a little disappointed though. I thought it would be more involved and the chef was frankly boring at times using a lot technical facts that we would never need to know, but Josef and I tried to have a good time nonetheless. Central Market has couple cooking classes every once in a while where you actually get to cook yourselves a gourmet 5 star style meal. I think we might try one of those some time

Sunday Josef and I didn't really spend much time together until after church, which was 6'clock pm for us. We had a cheese fondue dinner and games with some friends, and we had a great time. Josef and I just exchanged cards this year. I guess neither of us are that into Valentine's Day though I don't think we are really missing out. I don't feel like we should let one day (that probably really is created by the greeting card industry) measure the health of our relationship. We're doing great and I love my husband tremendously and I'm so so happy.

So here's to spreading the Valentine spirit throughout the year!

Off To Bed

2010-02-14T21:04:00.000-08:00

I'm off to bed. We just got home from a Valentines dinner and game night with our friends. I haven't had a decent nights sleep in about a week because I've been staying up way too late. So sorry you aren't getting much of a post today. I'll be back with better material tomorrow!

Pudding Face

2010-02-13T20:31:00.000-08:00

I made Sofia some chocolate pudding with avocado puree in it (from Deceptively Delicious) that she got to eat after lunch today in her playroom. She thoroughly enjoyed it as you can see. About the pudding though, I think next time I make it I will try using melted chocolate rather then unsweetened coco powder. It is just a little too bitter for me, even after a cup of sugar and a lot of agave nectar. However I do like the concept of adding avocado to it since it has so much good fat.

Yesterday

2010-02-13T11:15:00.000-08:00

I have a perfectly good explanation why I didn't blog yesterday. I honestly truly didn't have the opportunity to post anything. I'm sure if I had prioritized and organized my time a little bit more efficiently it would have worked out, but I didn't. So once again you get two posts in one day.

Wednesday it snowed for almost 24 hours straight and by the time it stopped there was almost a foot of snow on the ground. When we woke up yesterday morning it looked like we had new cushions on our patio furniture.

Yesterday, Sofia and I took my dad out to lunch for his birthday. Before he came over I had Sofia decorate his card. She did a great job and really enjoyed making it pretty for "Paga" (that's how she says grandpa). Sofia even made a few recognizable circles when I asked her too. Its so fun to see her learn new things!

I made Josef promise that he would come home early so we could play in the snow. I was feeling pretty left out when I saw all the snowmen in everyone's yards. Sofia was a little cautious of the snow at first, but she started to really enjoy it. Unfortunately it came up to her knees in some places which made it hard to walk through. Especially with no real snow gear, but we still had lots of fun and lasted for about half an hour.
Don't you love my plastic bag shoe covers courtesy of Kroger and Sprouts? Also I just have to say that Josef didn't do all of the work on the snowman, just 2/3. I rolled the head and would have put it on top, but it was to darn heavy.

Later that night we watched our friend's daughter and once the girls were in bed we watched the opening ceremonies for the Olympics while munching on cinnamon bears and chocolate turtles from Sprouts. Josef and I both agreed that one day before we die we will go see the Olympics (more specifically the Winter Olympics). I always feel like a little wide eyed child when I watch. My favorite sports are ice skating, snow board half pipe, and the ski jump. Whats your fave?

Little Mommy

2010-02-11T20:08:00.000-08:00

Sofia loves to do things just like Mommy. She loves to bring her own purse to run errands, she loves to try on my jewelry, she loves to put makeup on, and she especially loves to try on my shoes and clothes.

Lovin' my Christmas Presents

2010-02-10T16:54:00.000-08:00

For Christmas I got these two awesome presents from Josef and his mom:
I have really been enjoying them, especially this past week. As with any typical toddler, 98% of the time Sofia refuses to eat vegetables and most other things that are healthy. Add on top of that the no-wheat diet she has been on for the past few months and the fact that she has always had a very strong aversion to eating, and you get the stress of constantly questioning whether Sofia is getting enough to eat. I can feel my chest tightening just thinking about it.

This week I have been racking my brain trying to think of different approaches or new foods that I haven't tried that might help me in my quest to feed my toddler. I remembered the cookbook (pictured above) my mother-in-law got me for Christmas and flipped through it again. Finally I have decided to commit to this cookbook and its approach to child nutrition. So I broke out my awesomely amazing food processor and got to work.

If you haven't heard of Deceptively Delicious you can click here to read more about it, but in a nutshell it's full of recipes with vegetable purees hidden inside the foods so your kids don't realize they are being fed vegetables. So far this week I have made banana bread with yellow squash, fried rice with yellow squash, and mac n' cheese with chickpeas and butternut squash. All of which were fairly well received by Sofia because they were foods she would normally eat, just healthified! Next on my list of purees to hide are peas, broccoli, and avocado. Maybe even spinach.

I still want to offer Sofia vegys in their true form so that maybe one day she will willing eat them, but until then this can be my peace of mind. I highly recommend this book to any and all mothers especially those with finicky eaters.